Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride


Dear Darling,

There’s something beautiful about letters, isn’t there. Something warm and fond and real about someone who pauses their life, silences all other distractions and allows thoughts and feelings to flow through the hands and onto the page.

That’s why I first began writing. I wanted you to have a record of my life before we met. I miss you terribly even though I don’t know you; I didn’t want to lose the thoughts and feelings before I could give them to you. And you aren’t here. So here they bleed, onto the pages.

Have you ever had the privilege of reading the love letters of another? To this heart, yet untouched by the hand of romance, it must be the closest thing I’ve yet felt to compare to love. To have a thought reach off the page and find its twin in your soul: “Really? You too? I thought I was the only one!

Maybe writing helps me more than you. A man is scarcely admired for pouring out his soul to the world. I can only assume the men I see today stand tall in public, and melt into their weaknesses and the comfort of their beloved and her caress the moment their door swings shut. Or else, the men of today are stupid and ignorant. My experience favors the latter.

On this day, we celebrate the things we are thankful for. All the curses and shadows that cling to me are of no consequence today, except this; that you are not here. That I don’t know your name; that there is no face to recall, no smile committed to memory, no image of your silhouette, no touch of your hair. No fondness of thought, no fullness of heart, no fiery animation of the soul. I cannot be thankful for you in person, only in memory of the future.

I have everything except you and so I have nothing. I lack a part of my own soul.

The walls of my heart grow stronger and harsher against the evils that assail them. It grows harder to bore into them that I may write these letters. But for you, I do.

I am grateful for all that God has given me…and I pray daily that He has made you for which to be thankful also, even if only in spirit.



November 24, 2011 - Posted by | Uncategorized

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