Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

A Heart of Stone

She closed the door and I watched as she walked away.

A tap on my shoulder, and He whispers “Are you sure?”

Well, I was until He asked. She is lovely, there was no doubt of that. But I had already decided; she had many scars I did not want to adopt. A good friend, but a friend only would she remain. But how sure can you be when the Creator Himself second-guesses you?

Later I sit absent-mindedly fingering this heart of stone and contemplating its curses.

“It shouldn’t be this way.”

“It has to be, Lord. It will be safe.”

“It wasn’t made to be this way.”

Maybe not. But it has to be, for now. This is the only heart I have. I can’t let anyone in, not until I can trust them. From the outside, they may assail and injure as much as they want as long as they never get inside. Only the very trusted can be in there; it’s there they can do the most damage.

I once found a young woman inside. She was not meant to be there; I don’t even think she meant to be in there. She was wandering around, like a child distracted from mischief by goodness. She found this wonderous place, and for a time was tempted by its innocence…and I by her charms. She had not been faithful. She did not stay long — if only she could have! — but even so, she left her mark in its halls.

There is much to be gleaned inside this heart, for the one who can unlock it. It’s not solid stone.

It’s yours. There will come a day when you’ve seen enough of me and I’ve seen enough of you. I’ll see your quiet inner beauty, your character and devotion, your selflessness. I’ll see what you are prepared to give, and I’ll be ready to give to you, give so much more than you can hope to give me. When that day comes, when it finally cracks open, I think even you, Keybearer, will want to stand back.

But for now it must sleep, safe and silent inside its walls. Waiting. Waiting for the One Who Waits.

But the question I find myself asking is, am I inside wanting out? Or outside wanting in?

December 6, 2011 - Posted by | Loneliness

1 Comment »

  1. […] yet…oh, and yet! For a man who restrains his feelings and keeps this heart of stone under lock and key, the promise of those feelings holds untold wonder. There is an anticipation […]

    Pingback by More Than A Feeling « Letters to Luthien | May 12, 2012 | Reply


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