Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

To She Who Never Called Back

You were the prettiest girl that’s ever worked there. We worked in the same store, but never together. Sometimes you’d walk by and ­­­­– it’s seven years ago now but I still remember – you wore some bewitching fragrance that smelled like strawberries.

My head spun.

I was young and in no position to ask you out, but not too young to feel the attraction.

I have to admit, my heart still jumps just a little bit if I see you, and my mind never functions quite right the few times we’ve talked. I tried to say hello again once, do you remember? I’m sure I made an utter fool of myself…you have that affect on me. I’m not normally like that. I’ll have to assume this is just a foreshadowing of the real thing yet to come with somebody else.

I finally mustered the gumption to call you at home. Do you know how many times I picked up the phone only to put it back down? How many times I paced and fretted and stared at the phone? It took more courage than I thought. I had a page full of notes and I rehearsed what I’d say, oh yes I did! I finally understood the stories and tales of men who feared this sort of thing.

We finally had a conversation. I was so happy to learn you loved the Lord. But we never talked again; you never returned my calls or e-mails. I eventually assumed it was a hint.

I ran into you in the parking lot tonight. Do you know how long I’ve waited for such a chance meeting? Oh, I knew where you worked, but it would be rather presumptuous to come in just to talk to you, don’t you think?

I always wondered if I read the signals wrong. Maybe you were just too nice to tell me you weren’t interested. Maybe you were interested in someone else that a year’s time had taken out of the picture.

I hope I didn’t take you by surprise. I resolved months ago to talk to you the next time I saw you, and even hung up on a friend just to say hi. You are still among the prettiest girls I’ve never known, though your eyes looked a little more care-worn. And once again, my mind didn’t work quite right. What do you say to someone you’ve only just slightly adored from a distance, someone you don’t even know?

You had the charity to remember our conversation. Well-done. You didn’t explain why you never called back so I’ll assume that means I read the signals right. All the same, I asked you if you’d like to have coffee sometime. It couldn’t hurt to ask, and wasn’t as hard.

“I’m dating someone.”

Ah, of course. No, I don’t blame you. I’m happy for you. I wish I’d said so at the time, but since you don’t really know me, what would it matter?

Pretty thing, you’ll never see this letter. You probably have no idea, no clue at all that you go through life, living day to day scattering your charms and stupefying some men’s minds. Maybe you do know and it’s a talent you manipulate. I think you’re too innocent for that, but I’ve thought that before. No matter. I have the privilege of never knowing your faults or weaknesses. You’ll remain a light and dainty memory of an attraction spurned and a lesson learned.

There are occasions in this world world when we’re given fleeting and false glimpses of the future. They are pleasant but flimsy. I never thought I had a chance and knew better to place anything other than idle thoughts on you anyway.

I am glad for the opportunity to end this unfinished chapter. I wish you the best, and I’m sure someday we’ll have a laugh together in heaven. Until then, best of luck and I hope you find everything you’re looking for.

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December 10, 2011 - Posted by | Other Letters

2 Comments »

  1. […] know why it hit me like it did. Rejection? I’ve felt that before. Frustration? Sure. Like She Who Never Called Back, it seems that any girl I view with some interest immediately views me with disinterest. Meanwhile, […]

    Pingback by Tough « Letters to Luthien | April 9, 2012 | Reply

  2. […] To She Who Never Called Back: […]

    Pingback by To She Who Never Called Back, Pt. 2 « Letters to Luthien | July 14, 2012 | Reply


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