Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

A Grief Undone

I know it’s hard on both of us to be apart.

But as I turned this idea around in my mind, it suddenly dawned on me: You and I are living our lives like a loss in reverse.

Each of us knows the other is out there somewhere. Each of us feels the emptiness of each other’s absence. Each of us searches for the other and, I dare to hope, each of us is writing letters in preparation for the other.

There’s good news and bad news.

The bad news is, the separation we each feel is worse than death.

In the death of a loved one, when a soul old and full of years releases its feeble grip on this life, the remaining lover has many fading memories to wrap around them in their grief. Gifts, trinkets, souvenirs, artifacts, photographs, songs, movies, letters, an old hat, a half-used bottle of fragrance, all will gild the bitter edges of that grief for years. There will be a lifetime of reminiscence, a thousand nostalgic paths to retread in comfort, and for the believer, the promise of reunion.

In the end, both lovers may retire from this life in contentment that it was lived and spent wisely, that the years counted and that love was not in vain.

You and I haven’t written those memories yet.

In our solitude and separation, we each dwell on a side of death colder than death itself. We lack those memories to linger in our minds and warm them; we mourn what we do not know.

The good news is, though now for a time we’re apart, the day will come when the pain is undone, the heart is thawed and the sad becomes untrue.

Can’t you just imagine how great our joy will be to find each other? At long last, what eternity concealed from us will be revealed; the story and soul of the one we’ve longed for.

Instead of time claiming the life of the one we love, it’s as if time itself returns to us the soul that completes us. In this way, is it not a picture of the first resurrection? Could it be that this is part of the mystical union between Christ and his church? A heart awaiting the reanimation and awakening that comes from being loved?

Of course, our romance could only be an imperfect portrait. But a portrait a thousand times more perfect than the one you and I live now!

I hope this thought gives you comfort, Darling. I hope it turns your thoughts from sorrow to joyful expectation. I know at times the lines between those two wear thin from waiting.

Everything sad may not come untrue. But perhaps – together – everything sad will become less true.

January 28, 2012 Posted by | Anticipation, Loneliness | Leave a comment