Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Your Name

“Call me darlin’, call me sweetheart, call me dear,
Thrill me , darlin’, with words I want to hear.
In your dark eyes so smilin’, a promise I see,
But your two lips won’t say you care for me.
Oh my darlin’, if my daydreams would come true,
You would meet me at a secret rendezvous,
And I’d find the paradise that lies deep in your eyes;
Call me darlin’, call me sweetheart, call me dear.”
– Peggy Lee

Dear Darling,

Out of the clamor of voices in a crowd, did you ever get startled and wheel around when someone shouted your name?

I don’t hear my name called very often. With those who know you, you are almost known too well to be called by name, at least not often. I see so many people and fail to remember so many names, but it still takes me by surprise when someone remembers or uses my name. (My appearance and the impression I leave people usually means they remember me when I don’t remember them.)

Asking or exchanging names is so often the first step in an introduction, the first step in a friendship, the first step in a romance. Odds are it’s how you and I will begin. A name can unlock so much about a person! With a first and last name, the internet can reveal so much of one’s history so easily.

And too, think of what a weighty privilege God gives us, to name our children. It’s one of those rare, practically eternal decisions we are allowed to make; the name we choose to bestow is the name that men and even God Himself will call that child by the rest of their life.

I was thinking about this driving home tonight, wondering what your name is. An idle thought, I suppose, but the stars made me lonely again, and I miss you and need you. Of course there are names I favor more than others. But as I told you before, I don’t care what others call you, so long as I may call you mine.

One other thought struck me on the drive home also; I won’t be able to show you these letters for a while.

Mind you, I get the impression that once I find you, the chase will be over before it begins. We’re both looking for something specific. Once we find that, and find attraction in each other’s eyes, all that’s left is to hurry up and wait, take things slow as we get to know one another. (Although in my minimal experience dating, sometimes you find what you’re looking for, and it’s not what you’re looking for at all. That’s when you get your heart ripped out…and sometimes when you’re the one doing the ripping.)

But even still, this is my corner of the internet, the place where every so often I pierce the wall of my heart and leave its bleeding imprint on these pages in relief of my sorrow and in hopes of our happiness. Not even my closest family know about this place. But don’t worry. Come our wedding, I think you’ll know all about these notes. And come our wedding night, I’ll present you with a chest of the letters from the last four years which no other eyes have seen.

Until then, I remain

Yours most faithfully,
Beren

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March 4, 2012 - Posted by | Wonderfully You

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