Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

In Anticipation of…Tears

“I would rather see a single genuine tear than a thousand faked smiles.”

Lurking behind your beautiful eyes, there is a treasure just waiting to be wrung out of them by tragedy.

We’re going to experience a lot of those tragedies, you and me. Life is full of them.

Our parents will grow old and eventually die.

Our friends will get sick, and some will die.

We’ll have to attend funerals together…maybe for our own family.

I can’t bear the thought of this, but Darling, let’s face it, sometimes I’m going to be the cause of those tears. One day, you and I will have arguments. We’ll both get mad and angry and upset, and you’ll cry. There’s going to be a lot of storms that we’re going to have to weather, and many bitter tears to share between us.

But not all tears are an evil.

Don’t forget, there will be tears of joy too…the ones I’ll be disappointed if I don’t see when I drop to one knee and give you a ring. What about those tears of joy and pain when our first baby is handed to us? Smiles, kisses, hugs and other princely rewards may abide, but I think those involuntary tears of joy will be the rarest of rewards I will treasure.

Did you know, you’re lucky you can cry. In fact, if you weren’t the crying type, I would wonder what is wrong with you. I’m really not able to. I can be vulnerable, but even on my own in moments of sadness, my tears are few and far between. It’s my own fault. I trained myself not to react, to be impervious and unflappable in the face of danger, pain and surprise.

In a way, and forgive a foolish thought, these letters are my tears, each one a drop imprinted on the page; an ambassador of the pain I’ve felt and lived with for so long…ah! so long.

Never be ashamed of your emotions or your tears. They make you who you are, a woman who wears her heart on her sleeve even when she doesn’t always want to. Crying doesn’t mean you’re not tough. Maybe more so, because you can feel; you can have that release and still face down your day, your world, your life. They relieve that pressure from the inside out. Who hasn’t felt even a little bit better after a good cry?

I can see it now, that first time I see you cry. That first time I am to be trusted with your vulnerability and sadness. You may not exactly be sobbing, but one or two of those beautiful droplets of sorrow will brim up, roll over your eyelid, off your eyelashes, down your cheek. You’ll think it’s something to hide, but Darling, the truth is your tears will be so precious to me…I will count myself honored to cradle these symbols of your sorrow in my hand.

I may not always know how to fix the hurt. But I will be there to wipe those tears away. I can’t wait to be there to wipe those tears away! I think, to be the shoulder for you to bury your head in will be one of my greatest callings; to softly stroke your back and hair, to whisper “shh, it’ll be alright” and just hold you and love your tears away…

What a breathtaking adventure to cherish and await.

March 16, 2012 - Posted by | Anticipation, Loneliness

1 Comment »

  1. […] reminds me anew how much I long to make you brave, take away your tears, give you strength and comfort you. I hope only that you can return the favor. My hold is strong, […]

    Pingback by Tired « Letters to Luthien | May 14, 2012 | Reply

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