Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Who I Need You To Be #4: The Questions

So I’ve been on a few more dates.

Nothing serious. Just here and there, once or twice. That itself makes me sad, because to me, “dating” is serious business. How much graver of a ponderance can the mind weigh than the heart and soul of a would-be wife?

It’s enough to send one into yet another tailspin of despair. I’m staving it off with the promises of Providence, but my gosh, how dark the world is.

It does make me realize the thought process that goes into evaluating a woman. I always told myself I wouldn’t write them down, but these thoughts are for you as much as anybody, you may as well hear them. And besides which, if you haven’t already figured out, I often write my thoughts out to promote order and unity among them.

Besides which, let’s face it, everyone does some rough mental calculus about a person we’re sizing up for long-term potential. So what questions do I ask myself about a girl when evaluating her?

1) How deep is her faith?
Your faith, my dear, must be so avid and so devout. Your heart must be so wrapped up in the Father that I must fall on bended knee before Him and plead for it.

2) How does she spend her time?
Time is so valuable and precious. I don’t believe in wasting it. (That also means I don’t know how to relax, but you know that already.) Does a girl spend it on mindless pursuits like constant movies and video games? Or does she spend time going places and doing things, working out, cleaning up, taking care of herself and others? Does she volunteer somewhere? Or, on the less desirable end of the scale (where we find me sometimes), is she a workaholic?

3) How does she dress? 
Don’t mistake this for vanity, Darling. But how we dress says a great deal about us. If it did not, clothing would not be such a huge industry. There are, of course, style variances. I am immediately concerned if you are showing cleavage or too much skin, and I’m not exactly warmed up if there is an abundance of makeup or trendy fashion. I just love a girl that can be graceful in her own skin, dignified, attractive, tasteful and traditional in her clothing.

4) How does she speak?
How dismayed I am to hear the tongues of fair young maidens drag their creator through the dirt! I understand a foul word under stress or grave circumstances, but I desperately hope to find you, my dear bride, with lips unstained by the vice of vulgarity. Still further, I crave that constancy and comfort of conversation, deep, intellectual and never-ending.

5) How does she treat sinners…and sin?
How often we hear, love the sinner, hate the sin. But this has limits. There are times the sinful brother or sister must be shunned, and fellowship must be broken or limited with those of the world who reject the light of Christ. I work among unbelievers constantly, but I am not congruent or compatible with them. There are some things that cannot be smiled upon or accepted.

I live in a dream world to seek positive answers in today’s world.

I’ll keep living there. The Lord wouldn’t impress these qualities on my heart if He did not have in mind somebody to fit them.

April 24, 2012 - Posted by | Who I Need You To Be

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