Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Who I Need You To Be #5: Three-Dimensional

Dear Darling,

I’ve got a lot of different sides to me.

I know we all do. I like trying my hand at different things. I’ve even been called an overachiever. If that’s so, they moved the goalposts of that title. I’ve just reached a point in my life where I’m trying new (wholesome) things.

I have my two jobs. Then I have my secret identity, so I’ve written articles, been on TV, given speeches, all that sort of thing. Then I dabble in certain arts, like music and photography. Each of these is a different facet of my life, facets which relate to their complements, but which seldom overlap. I like having more than one iron in a fire at a time. I’ve made money through all sorts of interesting ways, or at least kept busy with them.

I like to find interesting things and do them. I’m in a branching-out era of my life, trying all kinds of new things, especially the ones that make good stories. I want to learn how to sail, go camping under the stars, take a trip overseas, that kind of thing.

And as I make the acquaintance of different people, I come to find they’re obsessed with their TV programs, their social lives or their job.

They look the same from any side. They don’t engage life to the fullest.

They’re shallow.

If I wanted a talking head to listen to me while she paints her toenails, I could find that. If I wanted to find someone that can only identify with my work, I could find that. If I only wanted someone that likes photography, that’s doable. Or, I could find someone that only identifies with my moonlighting political work.

I need you to be more than that. I need you to be able to complement, supplement and complete me on different levels. I need you to be deep, thoughtful, intellectual and genuine, to contribute something to every part of me. I want to find someone who, while we’re getting ready for bed, listens to me and asks a question that completely takes me in a different direction. I want to hear you say things that are so profound that I can only look at you and say “whoa.”

I can’t assume that I’ll find a girl and make her like me. I have to assume the woman I marry will make me like her. Maybe the template of Eve’s sin tells me more than I thought. Maybe woman really is the weaker partner. I don’t want to think that, but meet so many girls who feel compelled to apologize for who they turned out to be. I don’t want you to be apologetic for who you are. I want us to live our lives proudly defying the world and living in the bright and brilliant light of our Father’s love and blessing.

I’m sorry to keep going on about myself, and I hope I don’t sound like I’m apologizing for my own personality. My continual thoughts and offerings to you, my unknown bride, come from my ongoing encounters with the world, where I am made to feel (or just outright told) that I should be different.

I know there’s going to be different avenues of our lives that may clash. I’m okay with that. I’m not asking for perfection and ultimate completion. I just can’t settle for someone who refuses to live life out loud, to its fullest.

I need someone three-dimensional. Can you do that for me?

I hope you’re well. I wish I could hear all about your day today, laugh with your jokes, sigh with your troubles, and tell you all of mine. I wish we could go grab a quick dinner together, take a walk in the dark, text each other and play word games on our phones.

Until then. I love you.


May 1, 2012 - Posted by | Who I Need You To Be

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