Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Who I Need You To Be #6: Someone To Watch Over Me

“There’s a somebody I’m longing to see
I hope that she turns out to be
Someone who’ll watch over me
I’m a little lamb who’s lost in the wood
I know I could always be good
To one who’ll watch over me

Although I may not be the man some
Girls think of as handsome
To her heart I’ll carry the key
Won’t you tell her please to put on some speed
Follow my lead, oh how I need
Someone to watch over me.”

Hello Darling,

I hope I’ve spent enough time telling you my plans to serve and honor and respect you enough not to seem demanding or insistent by sharing my hopes for you in return. There are times where I think I would be content simply with a woman who, if she was lovely in my eyes, I would love even if she did not love me in return. But then I remember that you’re actually going to add to my life too. And I remember that in the beginning, Woman was created to help ease the burden of Man…to help him. Man tended the garden, Woman tended man.

I do need you to tend me. I’m not looking for another mother, but let’s face it, men would keep an untidy lifestyle if it weren’t for women. We would be content with less, our lives would be less colorful, we wouldn’t aim quite so high. You make us work harder and shoot for more. You bring light and freshness and livelihood to our existence. You color, and you inspire.

And you help. There’s things you can do better than me. The stereotypical joke is that a woman’s place is in the kitchen. Of course it isn’t. But isn’t there fulfillment to be found in doing those things for a man that he can’t do himself, at least not as well? The full stomach and hearty kindness of a warm meal is unparalleled. I’ve already told you I plan on surprising you a few times by returning the favor. It’s not that the task is menial and therefore relegated to a woman. It’s that this is one of the best ways you can bless me.

I remember seeing a commercial of an older woman bundling up an older man in his scarf for a wintery excursion. It was well-acted; the woman looked like she really was staring into the eyes of the man she’d loved for decades. He stood there and smiled, letting her wrap him up. A sappy insurance advertisement? Of course. But they make those things to tap into certain sentiments, and when I saw that, I thought of you.

“That tie doesn’t go with that shirt, try this one.”

“Take that shirt off and let me iron it! No man of mine is going out of the house in a suit he looks like he slept in!”

“You look tired, is everything alright?”

It’s not just cooking and ironing. It’s everything. It’s “can I get you anything?” It’s you bringing a jacket by work that I forgot, when it turns unexpectedly colder. It’s helping order an entire household and making it a home. It’s helping raise our children.

It’s a reflection of the self-sacrifice that I hope to give you every day of our lives. Don’t you see? If I look after you and you look after me, then we can both be happy, for each other’s needs will be met, yet we’ll refrain from being selfish and live instead in a constant state of service and giving.

I don’t care if I’m sick and hurting. I can deal with it. I just look forward to your look of concern and worry that warms me from the inside out. I look forward to a kind, loving embrace and a desire to look after and tend to me.

After all, it will free me up to look after you.

May 2, 2012 - Posted by | Who I Need You To Be


  1. […] should I dare ask you for a love that rivals the movies? To be vulnerable, to watch over me and encourage me, to make me feel again and lift me out of the depths of myself…to save […]

    Pingback by Arrogance: The Audacity of Aspiration « Letters to Luthien | August 20, 2012 | Reply

  2. […] how when we’re alone and I’m sick, you’ll take charge. How you’ll be that someone to watch over me. You’ll lay my armor aside and order me to bed. You’ll bring blankets, and hot water […]

    Pingback by In Sickness And In Health « Letters to Luthien | August 28, 2012 | Reply

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