Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

#21: Sweet Nothings

Dear Darling,

Do you ever feel like a baboon in a cage, wordlessly grunting and contemplating this still-foreign concept of love? No; I’m sure you’ve been in love before. And to be honest, my dear, I’m jealous of you for it. But remember, we’re still going to crave after that different kind of perfect.

But I find myself looking at love, turning it over and over in my hands like a bright jewel or an unopened gift. I know what’s inside, of course; it’s all humanity speaks of. But to know something and to understand it are two different things. So I find myself thinking of those rainy nights together, and our wedding rings, and dances, and the drowsy, tender nights of comfort between each other when many years have passed and we are intimately acquainted with each other’s ways.

I wonder if you will find me a great romancer. I used to think myself quite the craftsman of humor and laughter. But nowadays, it seems the world has rubbed me raw and left me less cheery. Or, as I wrote before, grave, solemn and cross.

I don’t know what the future holds. But I promise I’ll try.

Here’s a fine example. Sweet nothings. I was thinking about these the other day. You hear and read about them, but no one really says what they are. First of all, it seems a latent contradiction. If it is a spoken word of sweetness, how can it mean nothing? Who could attach a value of nothing to a whispered token of affection? Quite the opposite — such a gift is beyond price!

I’m sure half of its value is the way it’s said. A whisper in the ear can be romantic no matter what, when a word is accompanied by the breath of someone you adore, tickling your ear with love.

But what are they? Just silly variants of “I love you”? Cheesy throwaway lines leftover from bar-hopping days? Bed-bait? I went looking for answers, and found a few purported examples:

– I love how you love me.
– You are my endless melody.
– I’m lost, can you keep me?
– If you were cheese, I’d want to be your macaroni.
–  If I could wish for one thing on this planet, I would wish for your lips to touch mine, without a question, without a sound.
– You are my endless love.
– You are special and wonderful.
– My favorite place to be is inside one of your hugs. 

The advice sites say to check your breath, don’t be overly poetic, and don’t steal lines from movies. Someone else wrote that it didn’t matter, you could say anything in your lover’s ear and it means a lot because you love her. I’m sure just saying “I love you. I love you. I love you.” would suffice.

That’s not good enough for my lady.

I think if I were to whisper sweet nothings in your ear, it would be more special. Something like…

“Do you want to know why I love you? Because you are the most wonderful woman I have ever known. You are everything that is good and wonderful in this world, bound up inside the most beautiful and graceful woman I have ever known. I don’t love you in spite of your wrinkles, freckles and spots — I love you because of them. Every one of them is uniquely you. Every one of them makes you perfect. To me, you are perfect. I cannot begin to tell you how full of joy and wonder I am just to know what it is to love someone as wonderful as you. I can’t believe you chose me to love, but I promise you, now and forever, I will give my all, my everything, to make you happy. I’m nothing without you. You are my all.”

Too scripted? Should I be more random and flippant and playful? Ah well.  We can’t expect to be masters starting off. We’ll have time to learn. We’ll have to teach each other a lot anyway. And if sweet nothings fill your heart with joy, then you will have them.

I promise.

Dear Readers:
I see this letter is somehow the first result on Google when searching for sweet nothings. Maybe it led you to my little trove of letters. If you’re looking for more, I’m still writing at SavedLove.

June 20, 2012 - Posted by | Promises

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