Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Without You

Dear Darling,

People have asked me, am I willing to face the fact that I will never find you? Could I be content with a single life?

Ah, Darling……

I have stood in the middle of Times Square…twice. I’ve seen the thrill of the city lights from the top of Rockefeller Tower, stood on the coast staring at Lady Liberty, and fallen asleep to the rush of city traffic.

I have dined at a seaside table in a fine restaurant on Pier 39 on the bay of San Francisco. I have walked Fisherman’s Wharf and smelled the chocolate of Ghirardelli Square.

I’ve been to Chicago (twice), driven past the corn fields of Kansas, stood in front of Mt. Rushmore, and looked down from an airplane as we flew over the whole of the United States nonstop coast to coast.

I’ve flown to Washington DC multiple times, gazed upon the chiseled face of Abraham Lincoln at midnight, toured the landmarks, photographed the monuments and met the “important” people.

I’ve heard the hushed stillness of the prairies, the rugged beauty of the Badlands and the roar of a waterfall during spring thaw in Yellowstone.

I’ve swam in the Carribbean, hiked the mountains of Tennessee and driven down Floridian boulevards at nighttime.

It means nothing.

The memories are nice. The accomplishments are gratifying. The experiences are pleasant to relate. But to me, it all means almost absolutely nothing without someone to share it with.

Marriage is about more than sharing a bed, a toilet or a car. It’s about having someone to share life with. Someone to lean on, and share everything, the good, bad and ugly. It’s a union of minds and souls, not just bodies. That’s what our culture misses out on.

You know how I went to see the movie alone the other night? I’ve done that before. It all feels empty and hollow. The movie is the same, but I simply don’t feel like there’s any reason to be there alone. Frankly, I don’t think God created many of us to see any point in living life alone. I want you by my side for all our adventures. I want to share and experience and enjoy life’s new happenings with you. Without you, without someone to share them with, there just isn’t any point.

Love is the ultimate human emotion. It’s what all the books, movies, poets, songs, artists, painters and writers talk about. It’s the steady diet that I have been fed (or is it deprived of?) for the past quarter-century.

No. I don’t think I could be content without that.

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July 13, 2012 - Posted by | Loneliness

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