Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

In Anticipation of…Weary Snuggling

Dear Darling,

I don’t think it’s going to be the white-hot nights of passion that will make our lives together worthwhile. Oh, I’m sure the electricity and feeling will be wonderful, and will continue throughout the various stages of our lives. But I think the moments we’ll settle down to, the quiet times of comfort and communal relaxation will be best.

Take, for example, a night like tonight. I’ve worked some exhausting hours this week. I’ve gotten up before the sun and had some rough days at work. By the time the end rolls into sight, I’m ready to trudge home and collapse.

You’re going to have those days too, whether you work or spend your time as a wife, mother and homemaker. I daresay it will be the cause for plenty of arguments between you and I, since we’ll both be so very tired. I’ll try very, very hard never to drop that “what have you been doing all day” card men are (in)famous for, if you’ll try to understand if I’m slightly short-tempered or less talkative or even listening. I daresay the edges of the grand promises of a lonely bachelor will fray a little with the years and tears, and a frazzled mother and worn-out father may find it easier to quarrel.

But not always, and not for long. Those dishes can just wait, and we can order in or go out. If there’s kids, we’ll get them settled in somehow.

If there’s no kids, then will come the favorite times I’m looking forward to. You and I snuggling up on the couch together and watching TV or talking. I don’t like the idea of us sitting on the couch checking our phones or texting, but I think we may as well both admit that’s going to happen. (Let’s really try to keep that to a minimum, okay?)

Two worn-out spouses, falling into each others’ arms and just listening to each other…what more could we want? I’ll stroke your hair softly and tenderly, and listen as you tell me about your day. Maybe you’ll cry, maybe you’ll just quietly talk about your day and how you felt, and maybe tell me a thing or two I never knew about you. On some days, I’ll lie with my head in your lap while you twist my hair, and I’ll tell you about my own troubles, or sorrows or deep thoughts. We’ll talk over the meaning of small conversations and big events, doctrines and philosophies, the past and the future.

Maybe we’ll be too tired for passion and romance, and simply fall asleep next to each other on the couch, with our arms around each other, our breath nuzzling against each other’s cheeks, or using each other as pillows.

The beauty of being tired together, unwinding, resting and re-energizing simply by being together…what a beautiful thought.

It is a thought that sustains me, on nights like these.

Love always,

July 29, 2012 - Posted by | Anticipation, Loneliness, Nights Like These

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