Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Can You Love Me That Much?

Dear Darling,

Do you think you could love me the way I ask? The way I plan to love you, the way I love you even now? Could you? Dare I hope?

Remember that scene in It’s A Wonderful Life, where George has just used his own savings to rescue the Building & Loan from the monopolistic Mr. Potter, and is so determined he forgets he’s married, and then finds his bride has made their home in an abandoned and run-down house? A bed is prepared, food is made ready, a table is set, and she stands serenely anticipating the arrival of her husband: “Welcome home Mr. Bailey.”

Could you love me like that?

Do you think you could meet me where I am? Could you go above and beyond to win my love? Could you try to make me the happiest man in the world, would things become important to you only because they’re important to me? Would you seek out the things in my heart and try to make them real for me? Would you sometimes put my preferences first, just because you love me?

Can you spur me on to greater things in life? Can you gently and painlessly rebuke me, hint at a necessary change in my tone, attitude or outlook?

Could you text me, not just because you want to know how I’m doing, but because you know I need to have someone ask? I’m not going to lie…when I wake up, I check my phone first thing. I want to see if I’ve received any e-mails during the night, or any texts. One (former) prospect did this often, sending texts for me to wake up to.

Could you come to the end of the day, having survived either a rough day at work or a rough day at home, and be on your last nerve, and press yourself to prepare a warm meal…just because you know I’ve had a hard day?

When you ask me how I’m doing, can you see through my attempts to deflect? Can you throw aside your own cares, narrow in on mine, take my face in your hands and order me to stop avoiding the question and let someone care about me for a change?

Would you exercise with me because you know I sometimes fret about winding up being married to someone who is overweight and inattentive to her appearance?

Could you plan a meal, a trip, a party, just to surprise me?

Can you dig me out of myself? I need you to. It might take holding your nose, it might take diving into a place no one has ever willingly gone, but I need you to try. I need you to have gritted determination to help me, so much that you’ll push past my own defenses.

The switch from Capra to Wheedon is hardly gradual, but did you ever see the scene in the film Serenity where the crew is all stuck and surrounded by the animalistic Reavers, and the deceptively cunning yet innocent River says “You take care of me, Simon. You’ve always taken care of me. My turn.” She then commits a heroic act to save the crew and protect her friend.

Would you fight for me? Would you stand with me, even if it meant against impossible odds, against the whole world? Would your love for me be so great that you could never imagine being with another, could never imagine a life happier than the one you chose with me?

I don’t have to be the happiest man in the world. I just want to be the happiest I’ve ever been. I just hope I can find someone who plans in her heart to give me as much happiness as I plan to give.

There’s not much that makes me tremble, love. But the thought of missing out on that, life’s greatest adventure, is one.

Love always,

August 15, 2012 - Posted by | Loneliness, Who I Need You To Be


  1. […] should I dare ask you for a love that rivals the movies? To be vulnerable, to watch over me and encourage me, to make me […]

    Pingback by Arrogance: The Audacity of Aspiration « Letters to Luthien | August 20, 2012 | Reply

  2. […] A home can be a lot of things. Barring some unforeseen turn in our fortunes, it will probably have humble beginnings, although I have no small measure of confidence that you can make the best of it. […]

    Pingback by Our House « Letters to Luthien | May 31, 2013 | Reply

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