Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

When Stars Are Bright, You Are in My Arms

“And now the purple dusk of twilight time
Steals across the meadows of my heart
High up in the sky the little stars climb
Always reminding me that we’re apart

You wander down the lane and far away
Leaving me a song that will not die
Love is now the stardust of yesterday
The music of the years gone by…”

Dear Darling,

You know of my habits at night, how I am given to frequent strolls outdoors, when all is quiet and dark. The summer hazes are clearing out, leaving a brilliant sky full of stars to ease and aid my contemplation.

It’s so beautiful out at night, Darling. You should be with me. There’s no moon to speak of. Just the constellations spread out across the horizon. The nights are becoming cooler and the crickets are more hushed and subdued. A dog barks in the far distance. It’s the perfect night to cross my arms, or fold them behind me, or shove them in my pockets as I walk, talking aloud with God. I bid Him “good evening” which must be foolish to a God that sees not only the hemispheres of this planet and others, but is outside of time itself.

I tell Him I’m so grateful for the opportunities He has given me. I told Him tonight that I want to remember to thank Him, even when I don’t feel grateful. I don’t possess that “jumping up and down, thankyouthankyouthankyou” zest of gratitude, but rather a quiet reflection on how far He’s brought me, and how far He appears to be preparing me to go.

I pray for friends. Not as many as I ought, nor as often, nor as long. I’ve made a list which is promptly buried somewhere on my desk of the friends who have confided sorrows, burdens, worries and cares. (It occurs to me that they should be casting them at the feet of the Savior, but some do not know Him and perhaps — just perhaps — I’ll dare to suppose that in appointing sons and daughters of the kingdom as heirs and representatives, He has appointed me to represent Him, and so by listening, I am being Christ to them.) Sometimes their names just come tripping off my tongue as I breathe a quick prayer over breakfast, though I wonder a rapid laundry list pleases our Father, or if it gives Him cause to consider their plights as readily as if I spent a half-hour over them.

I pray for my family, and for my own needs.

And naturally I pray for you. “Be with my future Bride, wherever she is” must be a phrase that tires our Lord’s ears by now.

And sometimes, I simply walk in silence, or if I’m less than happy, sigh “Oh Lord…” and ponder.

Tonight, I simply think about the long road behind me, and the one ahead of me. I think about the new adventures ahead of me. I think about how these could be our nights, and one day will be.

Every so often, if I’m looking in the right place, a meteor streaks overhead. I’ve seen a lot more of these the past few years. Maybe it’s just because I’ve been looking. I can pick out Mars, or the Big Dipper and follow its direction to Polaris. And wonder if I could ever use it to navigate if need arose. I wish I knew these constellations better. On a clear night like tonight, you can see the whole arm of the galaxy, curving out into infinity, an inestimable expanse littered with what truly appears to be stardust, spreading a glittering trail across the whole of the night sky.

They say the darkest skies have the brightest stars, but I am not unhappy tonight. I’m quiet and thoughtful. I think I’ve told you this, but I get like that a lot, especially on nights like this, under skies like this. These silent rulers of the night seem not to have reason to make me lonely tonight, and simply glower in their dim persistence.

And then I head back to the house, because life is becoming busy, and there is much work to be done.

I daresay these walks would be longer with you on my arm.

Until then!

Love always,

“Sometimes I wonder why I spend
The lonely night dreaming of a song
The melody haunts my reverie
And I am once again with you
When our love was new
And each kiss an inspiration
But that was long ago
Now my consolation
Is in the stardust of a song

Beside a garden wall
When stars are bright
You are in my arms
The nightingale tells his fairy tale
A paradise where roses bloom
Though I dream in vain
In my heart it will remain
My stardust melody
The memory of love’s refrain.”

Nat King Cole

August 23, 2012 Posted by | Loneliness, Nights Like These | Leave a comment

Here Without You

“A hundred days have made me older
Since the last time that I saw your pretty face
A thousand lies have made me colder
And I don’t think I can look at this the same
But all the miles that separate
Disappear now when I’m dreaming of your face

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight it’s only you and me, yeah

Everything I know and anywhere I go
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love
And when the last one falls, when it’s all said and done
It gets hard but it won’t take away my love, whoa

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still on my lonely mind
I think about you baby
And I dream about you all the time

I’m here without you baby
But you’re still with me in my dreams
And tonight girl it’s only you and me.”

– 3 Doors Down

August 23, 2012 Posted by | Loneliness, Songs | Leave a comment