Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Why Not A Great Love?

“When I look around I can see
The spotlights are bright on you and me
We’ve got the floor, and you’re in my arms
How could I ask for more?”

Josh Groban

Dear Darling,

Did you ever notice how everyone wants to be great…but no one wants to prepare for it?

People see movies, hear songs or read books and they’re inspired by a dim reflection of greatness, a brief glint of glory in their eyes that gives them a vision of what it’s like to be amazing. But all too quickly, the light dies. The vision ends. People don’t stoke that fire within themselves, they don’t break out of their comfort zones or go beyond themselves. They don’t choose greatness. Nor do they want to prepare for the day greatness chooses them. They select what is easy, and mediocre is easy. People choose the closest and easiest relationship, and are surprised (yet resigned) when it proves ephemeral. They remain at a mediocre job but live beyond or just above their means, and complain that they can’t get ahead.

They complain about financial and domestic woes, but from so many that I’ve seen, they don’t do what they could to get ahead. They settle…settle for the least, because they don’t strive for the most.

Not me.

Darling, I don’t just want a love that’s good. I won’t settle for okay or fair or average. I want a love that’s great. I don’t mean great as in “this salad is great.” I mean a love that resonate with greatness and renown. I want a love people gossip about, a love too good to be true. I want our love story to ring through the ages. I want a love that is the stuff of legend.

Who are the great love stories of our time? When you think of famous loves, what comes to mind? Robert and Elizabeth Browning? Johnny and June? Odysseus and Penelope? Beren and Luthien?

Oh, maybe they won’t actually write stories about us, or sing of our union when we sleep in our graves, but why shouldn’t we strive for greatness? Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t pursue an affection so pure and thriving as to be the envy of our friends and even strangers?

I want our wedding to be awesome. I want our honeymoon to dazzle. I want our first year together to be fantastic. I want joyous holidays and parties and anniversaries. I want people to grumble that we can’t be as happy as we are together, that something is wrong, or we’re hiding. I want to do things to make them say “wow, he loved her that much!”

I want to defy the naysayers by staying in love, and dumbfound the critics by growing stronger together. I want people to think there’s no way two such good-looking people could have such a rich and abundant life together, to be as happy as we are,  with good job(s), good house, good kids and still in love.

I want to set our kids an example. I want to set other peoples’ kids an example. I want our families to admire us and emulate us not for the great virtue we possess, or the glory we contrive, but for the blessing of the God we serve.

I even want our fights to be good! Loud and proper, but short and fleeting, like a passing squall. I want fights where we can both break down in laughter at how absurd the situation is, or fights where we can both be so logical that one side clearly must concede to the other. I want people to say “that was your argument?!” Regardless, I want us to be willing to forgive each other quickly…then spend half the night making it up to each other.

It’s not like I want to make people jealous, or that I want an audience. In fact, I want to be so blissfully in love with you that we don’t even notice the others. I merely want to enfold ourselves in a love so fantastic that the necessary byproduct is inspiration.

I want to inspire. I want to foster a romance for the ages, where our children and our children’s children look at us and aspire to have a love like ours. I want to outshine movie couples and make them look like two-dimensional TV flings.

I plan on doing my part. My love, I want you to look at me with teeth that can’t stop smiling and say “you’re amazing.” I want to earn that kind of love and joy. I’ve only just begun to list the promises of things I want to do to give us a better life.

Of course, as in all things, we must acknowledge reality’s unplanned invasion and admit it may not always be like that. I can see the sleep-deprived day of dogs barking, baby screaming, hair stringing, faucets leaking and phone ringing. I know you well enough by now to know you’re real, and life will be real. But is that any excuse not to try?

Come on, gorgeous. Dare to dream with me. Take my hand and let’s jump together. Even if we don’t hit the moon, we can dance among the stars.

Love always,

November 2, 2012 - Posted by | To Be The One, Wonderfully You


  1. Beren,

    Wow! I’m a man (in the same boat as you, pretty much, but I don’t write letters to my future bride) and your thoughts fit me to a T. That was an amazing letter and that’s what I dream for myself too. Best of luck!

    Comment by Mint | November 3, 2012 | Reply

    • Thank you, Mint. The same to you, and may you arrive happily at the altar sooner than you expect. I recommend letters to have waiting for her.

      Comment by BerenEstel | November 4, 2012 | Reply

      • You know, I think you’re right. I really should start writing letters.

        That was a nice picture, BTW!

        Comment by Mint | November 8, 2012

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