Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Come To Me in My Dreams

Marriage Is For Two, Robert Harris, 1953

“Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.

Come, as thou cam’st a thousand times,
A messenger from radiant climes,
And smile on thy new world, and be
As kind to others as to me!

Or, as thou never cam’st in sooth,
Come now, and let me dream it truth,
And part my hair, and kiss my brow,
And say, My love why sufferest thou?

Come to me in my dreams, and then
By day I shall be well again!
For so the night will more than pay
The hopeless longing of the day.”

Matthew Arnold

April 26, 2013 Posted by | Poems | , | Leave a comment

Spring is Here

14. Shannon, James Jebusa - In The Springtime

“For winter’s rains and ruins are over,
And all the season of snows and sins;
The days dividing lover and lover,
The light that loses, the night that wins;
And time remembered is grief forgotten,
And frosts are slain and flowers begotten,
And in green underwood and cover
Blossom by blossom the spring begins.”

Dear Darling,

It’s finally warm again. We’re finally shaking free of winter’s arctic breath and making a run for the thawing sunlit highland meadows.

There is beauty to be found in ice and frost, but there’s something about it that makes us forget the world can be kind. Dead trees, gray skies and dull grass give us a sort of amnesia, burying the memory of warmth under layers of earthen frost.

In winter, weather becomes an enemy, a force to resist. Comfort becomes a constant struggle, and like any battle waged daily, we take for granted the days when didn’t have to fight.

Winter’s beauty wanes, and is masked beneath rude and bitter cold. It assails our senses, and we conjure fires, weave coats and summon the clearers of ice. The sun goes to sleep, and we hasten to work tense and shivering. We huddle under blankets and relish the memory of warmth.

Then it begins. Slowly, as if nature relaxes her freezing grip, the cold’s oppression eases off. The wind bites not as deeply. The sun greets us a little earlier each day, and a little later each night. It thoughtfully warms the car at day’s end, and we begin to feel a little safer and more welcome to go outdoors again. We declare a truce with the weather.

Finally one day it breaks. The truce becomes an alliance; color returns and the world is reborn.

The daytime blesses us once again with the verdant beauty and golden sunshine. And somehow, it surprises us every year: “Why! It’s nearly eight ‘o clock and still daylight!” Children take to the streets. Flowers bloom overnight. Birds sing. The stars smile again, and nights are mild and inviting. Shutters can be opened and shades drawn, new melodies sought and found. The heart brims with equal parts contentment and restlessness, borne on fragrant, hopeful breezes. The airs of spring seem to prompt both inspiration and desperation…a yearning to get out there and do something.

It’s funny, isn’t it, how every season has something to adore and abjure. These early days still sometimes revert to their frosty former habits, and fondly bring to mind the days not so long passed, when autumn was here and winter was coming. I guess life will always have something to appreciate and something to anticipate…reminding us that in life, we often must release one thing before we can have the other.

There was a rainstorm the other night, the first of the year and probably the first since last fall. The lightning came furiously and the rain poured. It was beautiful.

Today, the windows are open and the curtains blowing. The pastel blossoms are coaxed by the wind into a fleeting snow shower of petals:

In the Spring a fuller crimson comes upon the robin’s breast;
In the Spring the wanton lapwing gets himself another crest;
In the Spring a livelier iris changes on the burnish’d dove;
In the Spring a young man’s fancy lightly turns to thoughts of love.

These will be our days too, someday. Spring reminds me of that, just as every season does. It reminds me that the days of constant toil and fret I feel won’t always be, that there will come days of peace and kindness, for us if not for the rest of the world. Spring is a season to share peaceful naps, fresh fragrant flowers and dinners on the patio. It’s a season to share trips to the beach, to plan summer trips. It’s a time for us to go for a run together, to find a place in nature all our own where we can relax and feel the sun on our upturned faces. I’m thinking of one or two places in particular, and I’m imagining me taking pictures of your smiling face with sunglasses, the wind blowing your hair.

I’m picturing me coming home with a bouquet of flowers I bought on a whim. You’ll pretend to be surprised, but you knew the fancy would seize me sooner or later, and you’ll still gush, kiss me and then go put them in a vase. You might just be getting home from work, or maybe you’ll be home with clean-scented candles burning. And one of us will say “it’s really nice out, let’s eat dinner outside!” I’ll cook some fish and you’ll make some vegetables or a salad, and we’ll just enjoy the sunset and each other’s company.

It can be hard to sit still in spring, but even harder to realize such abundant happiness awaits just a little further down the road.

I wish you an abundant and bountiful spring, my love, and hope the season’s wistful longing doesn’t overtake you as much as it does me.

Love always,
Beren

April 18, 2013 Posted by | Loneliness | , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Questions

love_posterDear Darling,

Time is short but words aren’t, and while some say questions can be more important than answers, it is minimally certain that questions are more plentiful.

Do you ever have someone you could REALLY talk to, was even your best friend (relatively speaking) but didn’t love enough to marry?

Do you ever feel soured on “love” or the lack thereof…and just giving up?

Do you ever tire of people who tell you how they’ve been changed by you, and wish instead you could find the someone who will change you?

Did you ever think maybe you should settle for an ordinary life…and then wonder how you ever could?

Do you ever feel like you needed someone to keep you in check? Or someone to live for?

Do you ever get frustrated when people, including yourself, weren’t strong?

Do you ever feel like you’re a jack of many trades (worlds, really) and master of none?

Do you ever feel like no one will ever REALLY understand you?

Do you ever just want to ditch life and responsibility, and go on an Adventure?

Do you ever feel envious of your friends because all their lives seem to be on track while yours isn’t?

Do you ever feel that if someone actually sat you down, looked you in the eye and asked you to tell them how you’re REALLY doing, your walls might fall apart?

Do  you ever meet someone’s spouse and think you would TOTALLY ask them out if they weren’t already taken?

Do you ever feel young — and yet so very old — all at once?

Do you know what it feels like to pursue the art of becoming the best person you can be, everything a spouse could want, and then have all the potential spouses settle?

Do you ever want to do everything in life all at once, or get impatient for life to get going?

Did you ever feel like you were doing someone a favor by telling them you couldn’t be theirs?

Do you ever wonder…….do you ever wonder if your dreams were wrong?

Love,
Beren

April 4, 2013 Posted by | Loneliness | 1 Comment