Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Our House

“We’ll build a household of faith
That together we can make
And when the strong winds blow it won’t fall down
As one in Him we’ll grow and the whole world will know
We are a household of faith.”

Steve Green

Dearest,

Shall we speak a moment on our home?

A home can be a lot of things. Barring some unforeseen turn in our fortunes, it will probably have humble beginnings, although I have no small measure of confidence that you can make the best of it.

But eventually, I want a big house. Do you suppose it wrong or vain to want that? I do. I’d like to earn a big fine house, something not unlike a Victorian semi-mansion, with a whitewashed stone or brick exterior, lit up on the outside, with a roundabout drive and immaculate white pillared columns, or perhaps a front porch going all the way around. I’d like to have Christmas decorations every year that people come from miles around to see.

Inside, I’d like wide open rooms, vaulted ceilings and a fireplace you could walk into. I would adore a room big enough for parties and balls, not the drinking kind, but the genuine old-fashioned balls whereupon we can teach young men how to be gentlemen, and girls to be ladies. I would love to have Christmas balls and harvest dances, with classes a few weeks in advance to teach people how. We might, perhaps, perform the duties of matchmaking which, to date, no one has successfully performed for us!

I should like very much to have a library, and peaceful grounds with plentiful acreage for you and I to get lost in. And we should have a panic room installed.

Of course, this sounds like living the lifestyle of the rich and famous. I have often wondered if God has in mind to bestow both, not (as I’ve said before) an end, but a means to one.

I would like that our home, in whatever form it takes, be a shelter and haven for those who have none. Women who have fallen prey to violence or trafficking, orphans, homeless, veterans. This sounds like a lot, and really, I don’t intend that you should be mistress and overseer of all these things. I’m merely saying that such a home as I envision should be a vessel through which we can show God’s goodness to the world.

But more important than cosmetics and details, what is the spirit and idea of our house? We’ll have children of course, and we’ll have to try to raise them as best we know how, with order and discipline and love. I visited a friend of mine this evening, and as well as dining with him and his pregnant wife, played with his daughter of not more than four years old. She was bright-eyed and precocious, just starting to become well-versed in putting words together for sentences of meaning. She giggled and presented me invisible gifts, paraded her Cinderella dress for me, and jumped in my lap. And thoughts of us and our future, never far beneath the surface, extended a few years beyond, into our children. Postpone it as we might, the day will come.

We must, first and foremost, have a home of stability and love amongst each other. We will have to communicate with each other, support each other, and try as best as two failing humans can to understand, work with and love each other. There can’t be any drinking or swearing, we can’t lose our tempers or lash out physically. We must make time for prayer and Scripture, and as the head of the family, I take full responsibility for that, relying on you for support.

For our children, we have to do everything as nearest to the Lord’s will as we can, with discipline and love, setting order and rules. We must never argue in front of them if we can help it, nor disagree on parenting or contradict each other when that correction is being handed down. We have to remember to act with grace, and at times, with mercy undeserved. (Oh how I remember the time my brother and I once wantonly disobeyed my parents, and how we were given reprieve from the discipline we knew we deserved, and feared!)

It is my desire that we school them at home as much as we can, since to place them in public schools is nothing short of turning them loose to the wolf-pack, trained and commissioned by the devil himself. It is ours to shield them from the harms of the world as long as we can, without raising them to be sheltered or shy. Learning should be structured, but it can happen anywhere. We should both try to teach them the skills that we already have, and learn new ones together. I also desire that by no means should we both work to their neglect. I’m not so adamant as to oppose you working if we can manage it, though my intention is to be a sufficient provider that you will never be obligated.

We should try to give them gifts and luxuries, while teaching them to be healthy and active and to work for what they get.

Darling, if at the end of the day we both accomplish much for the kingdom of God, yet our children do not follow His way, I will have serious concerns about my success as a father.

My first ambition, my greatest obligation is to further the kingdom of God and its testimony. My second is to love you and for us together to raise our children to be happy, useful and willing servants of the Lord.

If we can say, through failure but through Christ, that we achieved that, then I think I will die a happy man.

Yours ever,
Beren

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May 31, 2013 Posted by | Our Timeline | 1 Comment