Letters to Luthien

Letters to My Future Bride

Guest Book

By now it’s become apparent that I’ve attracted more readers than my future wife. I hope you have found some blessing and encouragement from knowing someone is out there with resolve and determination to do love the right way.

If you wouldn’t mind, I’d be ever so charmed to hear who you are, how you found the site and what you think of it.

21 Comments »

  1. Hi! This is Keisha from WTM.org. I have literally been glued to my computer screen for the last two days reading every one of your posts. I’m not sure exactly what I expected to read when I came to your site, but I’m so happy that I did. I think I experienced every emotion while going through all of them. I smiled, laughed, said “aww” too many times to count, was saddened, and got a little teary eyed at times. In the July posts I even started to panic a little. I think this is a beautiful thing that you’re doing. Don’t stop. Your future bride will love and appreciate you for it.

    …I was also curious as to who Luthien was. Now I know. 🙂

    Comment by Keisha | August 5, 2012 | Reply

  2. Hey LK 🙂 This is Candice from wtm.org. Your writings are incredible. Like Keisha, I have also felt just about every emotion possible while reading your letters. I have laughed, felt that ‘lump’ in my throat, and even shed a few tears. You already love this woman and you aren’t even married to her yet. It is amazing and I am truly encouraged when I read them. Sometimes when I’m feeling ‘down’ or just having one of those days, I read your letters and it gives me hope. It reminds me that I’m not the only one out there waiting. And it reminds me that there are good guys still out there. Keep doing what you’re doing. It is a blessing to me and I pray that God blesses you in return.

    Comment by Candice | September 13, 2012 | Reply

  3. Beren,

    I know not who you are, or where you’re from, or if you truly are who you paint yourself to be. This technological world we live in makes it far too easy for a person to pose as something he’s not. I’m skeptical, yes. But your writing resonates with me in a way so powerful I simply had to reach out.

    I had to leave a note because I believe in what you’re doing, and find myself in a similar position as you. Waiting is difficult. It makes me ache in both mind and body. Ache for a tender touch and an emotional connection that’s beyond words. Yet I know that waiting is paramount in building the kind of relationship and marriage I want with my future husband.

    Why do I wait? I wait because when I fall in love and become one with my husband, I want to give him all of me. I want to give him a heart that is whole so that it can love him completely. I don’t want him to wonder about my past and other men that may have stolen a piece of me. I want to have a love that is free and innocent and pure in the truest sense. I hope for the same in return, but my hope is hardened by the reality that as years pass by, it will be harder and harder to find a man who lives with my same convictions.

    As you seem to, I oftentimes wonder why I have yet to fall in love. Why my heart hasn’t opened itself to any of the men I’ve dated. But in truth, I think your post on vulnerability speaks directly to this. I haven’t yet allowed myself to be vulnerable to anyone. Truly vulnerable. I suppose that’s something I’m saving for my husband as well, for only in true vulnerability will anyone ever know me as a husband should. Perhaps it means that the right man just hasn’t crossed my path. I know that I’m guarded, and I know my walls are high. But I also know that the right man will care to scale these walls and join me on the inside. Or better, make me feel safe enough to tear them down just for him. Maybe you haven’t yet found your love because your walls are just as high as mine?

    This comment clearly comes unsolicited. You don’t know me, and probably couldn’t care less about my reasons for waiting and the walls that surround me. You’ve probably already thought about your own walls, and I’m sure you’ve received comments like mine before. I’m not even sure why I felt so strongly the need to share these thoughts with you. Just know that in this crazy world where everyone our age (mid-late twenties?) seems to do relationships backwards and believe in instant gratification, there are still women who believe in the good of what are becoming forgotten values. 

    Anneli

    Comment by Anneli | October 26, 2012 | Reply

    • A comment on the Guestbook page which requests comments is scarcely unsolicited. Welcome, and thank you for your remarks. I have no doubt that vulnerability is a true challenge in places such as ours, with hearts like ours. It’s a catch-22; the walls can’t come down until you’re with someone you trust, but you don’t trust someone until the walls break down. I don’t propose to have the solution, except to keep waiting, keep striving to be amazing, and trusting God to bring the person in the right time.

      Comment by BerenEstel | October 26, 2012 | Reply

  4. Hello Beren,

    I’m the one who commented a little too forwardly on your “We’ll Get There” post. Guilty as charged, but I wish to clarify if you have the time to read.

    I felt a sudden need to write to you. After reading letter after letter, I just couldn’t leave the other half of these letters- the other half of the anticipation story you will someday read -completely blank.

    I do not know if I, the girl lost in these words, am your Luthien. Only God knows the answer to that. But I do know that your letters speak to me, as if they are a message from God sending a reminder of the rewards for obedience, patience, & purity.

    I,in no way, mean to impose upon your letters to your wife & the plans God has for you. My intent was just to send something, ANYTHING with words you deserve to hear. Words similar to the words I am sure your Luthien would wish to say if she could read your letters before she met you. Obviously, this is only just a tiny piece of the message her heart will tell you one day.

    The commitment it has taken to write the amount & depth of letters you have written is a truly beautiful testament of faith, hope, & love that I greatly admire. The words that you write & the messages you send seem almost like a fantasy to me- that depth of love for a human being I cannot grasp. I’ve yet to experience what it is like to fall in love, but thanks to you, Beren, I have a sense of what to aspire to. & it’s even more pure, deep, & real than what I’ve ever previously imagined.

    One last thing I wish to add, & I do not know if it will mean anything to you, but it’s worth it if it does. Many of your letters scared me. No, you’re not a villain, but your openness & honesty revealed many of the same ideas, thoughts, & dreams that I, too, possess. If everything you type in your letters is true, then we have nearly identical lifestyles:

    -The never-ending organized chaos of juggling work, school, community, & most importantly, life. I’m so on-the-go that sometimes I feel completely over my head; actually, I’m pretty sure I am. But I cannot see living my life any other way-because I want to live to the fullest potential, & from your letters it seems you feel the same. It’s only nights like these when I allow procrastination to steal the spotlight for its 15 minutes of fame & stumble upon your blog-& I’m so happy that I did!

    – I do not think it is asking our Lord too much to introduce you to a future bride who will read to you outloud, take pride in staying active & healthy, & maybe even share her first kiss EVER with you. I desire the same from my future husband, & reading your letters has helped me to realize that my dream man may be more than just a dream.

    – There’s more. Much more. Reading how much we have in common & yet how we are both still very much individuals has helped me realize something. It’s a small world, especially for God. It’s never too big to get out of His control or escape away from His oversight. To Him, we’re tiny beings living in a world He carefully keeps in his pocket, on our journey to crossing paths with the loves of our lives.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you SO MUCH for your sharing, your inspiration. Please expect occasional comments from yours truly; unless of course you wish for me not to add anything. If that is the case, please just let me know. I do not wish to impose, only to support & encourage…& reveal, in what little way that I can, the kind of love you are worthy of.

    ~M

    Comment by Little Light of His | November 9, 2012 | Reply

    • Hello M,

      Do forgive the delay. If your schedule approaches the frenzy of mine, than I am sure you understand!

      I greatly appreciate your willingness to step up and mouth the voiceless words that I and many others long to hear. I am also gratified to learn these words fill (temporarily) the same void, and yet feed the desire for more. I hope it inspires you to write, as it has to others. I find this a very instrumental and meaningful form of expression, an outlet while waiting on love, one which will become meaningful to Luthien when I find her. She could, of course, take any form, which inspires both hope and caution to an outside world.

      Your comments will be welcomed with open arms, although if they are slow to appear it is because the default is for them not to appear.

      Thank you again for your encouragement and response!

      ~Beren

      Comment by BerenEstel | November 14, 2012 | Reply

  5. Beren,

    First of all, I am a man; not your typical or intended reader, I’m sure. I felt compelled to comment though, so bear with me. I found your letters through the WTM site. Reading your letters, I very nearly broke into tears. Not because I was so touched by the love described in your letters, though I was, but because of the intense feeling of inadequacy many of your letters left me with. You see, the man you seem to be is the man I once dreamed to be, and the love you describe is the love I once dreamed to have. I am still young, and I have not yet known a woman intimately, so there is still hope for me, I suppose. The problem, though, you see, is that somewhere along the way I became lazy in my development. I never became the man I intended to become, and i have allowed trivial things and immoral things to sidetrack me. I am truly grateful that I found this site. It has inspired me to not just wait idly for my future wife, but to actively become a man worthy of a bride that shares many of the traits that your Luthien possesses. I honestly think this is a turning point for me, and I have you to thank, in part. I doubt you need my encouragement, but I encourage you, nonetheless (I can’t help but think of King Theoden whenever I say that word). Keep doing what you’re doing, it has helped me, and I’m sure it has helped others. But even if it never helped me or anyone else, keep doing it for you and your Luthien. Thanks again,

    Will

    p.s. I hope you don’t mind if I steal your idea of writing letters. Most likely it would not be to the volume or depth that you have written, but I think it would help me in certain areas.

    Comment by Will | December 27, 2012 | Reply

    • Sir:

      Your comment is welcome, as are comments from all genders and walks of life! Indeed, no comment so warmly written and encouraging would be unwelcome. If, until these letters find the eyes of my bride-to-be, they may serve to kindle a fire or two in the hearts of others, then even if I do not find her I know it won’t have been in vain.

      There are all kinds of ways in which we can bide our time searching for the proper wife. Among my many pursuits, becoming the man I expect my future wife to desire is one of them. I’m proud that my decision would influence yours. Congratulations and well-done, and keep at it!

      -Beren

      Comment by BerenEstel | January 3, 2013 | Reply

  6. Beren,

    I wanted to let you know that your words have helped me tonight, as they have on several nights in the past. I know that this journey we are both on is a painful one, and so very lonely, but I wanted to let you know that you are in my prayers.

    May God bless you with every happiness, and may you meet you Luthien soon! And may God continue to renew you until she arrives.

    Comment by Ledelian | February 10, 2013 | Reply

  7. Dear Beren,

    I found on your blog last week, not long after having started my own blog of “letters” this month. Imagine my utter surprise when, upon Googling a C. S. Lewis quote from “Till We Have Faces,” I landed on a page eerily similar to my own. My first thought was, “Whew, I’m not the only crazy one, posting letters to someone I don’t even know yet.” Then as I kept reading, my relief turned to disbelief: “Surely this guy isn’t real. This must be some girl creating letters from her fantasy man.” But as I continued reading letter after letter, I came to the point where I realized, “Yes, this is a real person, a real man. His moods shift like the tides, he hopes, he laments. He works hard, he sinks back in weariness. He pursues Christ, he fights personal battles…” Not only that, but your words echo my silent prayers. Your values, hopes, and frustrations are so like mine.

    Having ascertained that you were real, I turned to the issue of whether or not to write in your guest book. Honestly, wondering if I should introduce myself on this blog has started to become a distraction to me (indeed, a welcome distraction during what is probably the most high-pressure two months of my life to date). I don’t want to be one of those anonymous lurkers, yet I also don’t want to be forward and presumptuous. I’m not one to comment much on blogs, for fear of appearing to be a leech. I don’t want you to think I’m auditioning to be your Luthien, yet I feel that we are kindred spirits and fellow pilgrims in this world and that it would be reasonable of me to say hello to someone who I believe could be a true friend.

    [You of course are in no way obliged to respond to this message, and I am refraining from spamming your guest book with a link to my website, though I would dare to share it with you if you asked…]

    So, hello, Beren! You are an encouragement to me. I dearly hope to meet someone like you soon.

    Grace,
    E

    Comment by Psalm 145 Girl | March 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Welcome, Psalm Girl. Thank you for your message and encouragement. I’m glad to know the posts I’ve made are drawing in like-minded people and encouraging them, and by all means, be welcome to post your link!

      Comment by BerenEstel | March 16, 2013 | Reply

  8. I am an occasional random visitor/background stalker on waitingtillmarriage.org, and this morning I happened to come across your page. For a virgin in a non-virgin world and a woman in a job field full of men (who, and no hating intended, are not always perfect gentlemen), it was a breath of fresh air. So even though I was reading it all day and consequently got no work done, I very much appreciate that you’ve put something like this up on the interwebs so the rest of us can read it and feel a little more hopeful. Oh, and best of luck finding your lady! She’s out there somewhere 🙂

    Comment by Anna | March 16, 2013 | Reply

  9. I came to this site because I love the story of Beren and Luthien Tinuviel. As I’ve read I’ve realized a couple things.
    1) These writings are so personal and intimate, and were they from my husband and he had shared them with the whole world I would have absolutely no appreciation for them. (especially the ones that aren’t even to your wife)
    2) I think every girl wants to be Luthien – the most beautiful of the children of Iluvatar, She is literally the perfect woman, wise, powerful, enchanting, a warrior princess, battling alongside Beren. And every girl wants Beren to fight into Angband and wrest a priceless jewel from the helm of Morgoth, simply because that’s the bride-price her father asked for. They are an archetypal romance, I can hardly think of a better one. But the problem is, women in this world, in this Age, do not have mothers who are Maia and can build enchantments around them to protect them. So they are broken and have made mistakes. And as much as they want to be a princess they aren’t. But then a well-meaning guy comes along and he is looking for Luthien and he so he imagines all these magical traits, but as he gets to know her she falls short, and the shattering of that illusion can be very damaging to both. Sometimes I’m sure girls turn you down because they don’t want to be compared to the goddess in your mind (even if they don’t know about this blog, they know).
    Just some insights. I think this is emotionally fulfilling you and others in ways that aren’t the best. You’re loving all these girls thinking you are the perfect man and envying “Luthien”. and the point I’m trying to make is that ideas can be dangerous and you might be ignoring God’s will because you’re looking for something that doesn’t exist. God wants good for you, and a wife is a good thing, but so is singleness, and the best thing is finding your identity and love in Christ and desiring knowing him as much as you now desire Luthien. I pray THAT for you before He blesses you with a real woman. And, please take this kindly, if a girl doesn’t want you let her go. It’s going to be really hard for your wife to come to grips with all the girl you’ve pursued. it’s almost the equivalent of how you feel about virginity.

    Comment by Melian | March 18, 2013 | Reply

    • Greetings, Melian! I saw your name and the word association of “girdle” immediately leapt to mind, but for reasons you know are not indecent. 🙂 Thanks for your thoughts on the matter. They definitely were food for thought.

      1) You make a valid point, and this was my original practice for the first 174 letters. However, I was moved and inspired by someone else who put their letters online, and elected to do so myself. Your concern is then counterbalanced by the many people who have left messages privately or publicly thanking me for the inspiration which these letters provide. I’m surprised as many people have found them as there have been, but if the response is that more people are blessed and inspired, then I cannot foresee a downside. My life is such that it will one day be held up for public scrutiny anyway.

      2) I’m keenly aware my Luthien will not be perfect. I think that comes through in my letters, as well as my admissions of my own shortcomings. What I pursue is not someone who uses the “nobody’s perfect” excuse as a justification. We are all broken in one form or another. We cannot help the darkness which finds us, and even the darkness we choose is negotiable. Reevaluating those hopes or standards is certainly an ongoing process, but I believe what I portray in these letters is more promises and intentions for my service to her, rather than expectations of her. It is only recently that I began evaluating the concept of what my expectations or hopes would be. I think it’s dangerous to coax someone into settling or compromising, or telling someone they’ll not find what they’re looking for.

      I have striven most of my life to be a man worthy of a woman’s affection. To seek a woman with similar intentions is, I think, not aspiring overmuch.

      Comment by BerenEstel | March 19, 2013 | Reply

  10. Hello there. I’ve been reading your letters for some time now. Honestly, I feel like I’m imposing each time I go to read your newest post. However, your letters are so real & heartfelt that I just can’t help but read. It’s refreshing to know that there are people in the world that still strive to uphold God’s standards. So thank you for sharing. Whenever it comes to my mind to check your blog, I say a small prayer that perhaps you have met her, your Luthien. With that in mind, I continue to hope & pray that you and other God fearing people would be strong while waiting. I am also waiting. Not as long as you have, but still waiting. So, I offer you encouragement to keep heart. Maintaining standards is hard. Especially when many around you are pushing for the opposite. Everyone’s feelings differ, but please remember that others are going through similar trials. Thanks & God bless

    Comment by Kiah | September 14, 2013 | Reply

    • Hello Kiah. Thank you for dropping by, and know that you are always welcome to do so. Thank you for your kind words. I will say a prayer that you remain strong and are blessed by it.

      Comment by BerenEstel | September 14, 2013 | Reply

  11. Dear Beren,

    Your letters are beautiful. Don’t ever stop writing you can reach a lot of people with your letters .Don’t get discourage when
    other people mock you,make fun of you or discourage you.There just jealous because you obey what the lord commands.So many christians believe in gods grace but don’t obey his commands.Don’t ever give up on searching for your luthien. I am proud of a man like you. It is guys like you that give me hope. Sometimes I think men are jerks but then I see men like you and tim tebow and ya’ll make me realize that maybe just maybe my dreams can come true.There are actually gentlemen in the world.Your passion is beautiful I can tell your a passionate person.That is what drew me to your blog from WTM.org.
    Your loyalty and devotion for luthien is so beautiful. Your strong will is the most priceless,your long suffering shows that you have grace.It also shows that you have perseverance. I can tell you won’t ever give up you would rather die.Your emotions runs deep threw your veins and heart.You feel pain in your heart but no one can see how intense it really is.

    Im gonna tell you something you may not no it but you are a catholic.I know your not catholic your probably protestant.What I realize is protestant churches are becoming a place of entertainment now and days.Everything is casual even the pasters wear blue jeans pants women even wear pants.What ever happen to suits and ties and dresses and veils(mantillas).Its becoming like a rock concert a place to feel good and get an adrenaline rush.If you could go back in time how do you think the church would look like.I think you can’t find the right church because your looking for the wrong one.There is something missing in the protestant churches and that’s the sacraments especially the eucharist. Go to the catholic church once a while and start praying.It’s a quiet place and beautiful place to pray and get on your nee’s. While your there light a candle for luthien and pray that you will find her.I think some catholic churches are open 24 seven so if theirs anytime that you just want to go somewhere and get a piece of mind go there. Beren something I like you to read I think it will help you.Read Theology of the Body,Love and Responsibility by Pope John Paul,The Four Apostolic Fathers,Rome Sweet Home and Why is the new king james bible is missing seven books of the bible(http://www.catholiceducation.org/article/religion).I was catholic then left for a protestant church.I was a protestant for a couple of years and always felt something was missing.There was never any solid answers to my questions and there was never any authority only confusion.The catholic church fulfilled what was missing try it out sometime. Beren you will be a wonderful husband because you know how to be self-controlled and selfless.You know how to love a women like jesus loved the church and gave his life for her.You will be the rock ,the spiritual leader.I would love to be a friend of yours and any women in her right mind will be honored to be your wife.Peace be with you.

    Song of Songs(Song of Solomon). Do not arouse; do not stir up love,before it’s own time.

    Comment by Ira | September 21, 2013 | Reply

  12. thank you for meandering over to my blog. means a lot

    Comment by a worm's life | December 8, 2013 | Reply

  13. Hello Beren,

    I came by your letters to Luthien and was fascinated. What brought me here is the actual story of Beren and Luthien. As a lifelong devoted fan of Tolkien I have read The Silmarillion many times in different languages and will read it over many more as well as other Tolkien work.

    Outside of Middle Earth dreams I am just a girl from a lowly crowd of millions that don’t shun a curse word, wear skinny yoga pants and binge-watch R-rated movies… However I have found My Beren and we live happily ever. And that’s all that matters in the end, right?

    I see that you stopped writing a while ago this is sad because it was a great blog. But have you met Luthien yet?
    I am asking because I know one girl that seems to have a lot in common with you. Strong faith in God, purity, waiting for her future husband… She lives in Brooklyn, New York, and used to be my coworker. I can give you more details and her contact info if you want.

    Comment by Esmeralda | December 22, 2014 | Reply

  14. Maybe it’s not meant to be in this lifetime. Incarnations this time could have different life paths.

    Comment by Gaih'Jhu | June 9, 2016 | Reply

  15. In a journey all of my own,I wondered could there be anyone person that carried a heart, a soul, and mind that could possible be like me.

    I am finishing my PhD and was recovering from a very twisted and abusive relationship.

    So if you wondered whom one person was, it was me. I was also a celebrity and have now removed myself from the public eye. I removed all cyber things. This is the first comment in cyber land since my recovery.

    I am sure many others have a reason to tell you their story of longing. Mine was to just connect to the world wondering if there were others so that I could feel human among the monsters roaming in my then sad life.

    Lumien

    Comment by Lucien De Connic | June 9, 2016 | Reply


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